The End of the Beginning of the Rest of my Life

     As I told the class, I was a Teacher Cadet my senior year. Taking this class was possibly the smartest and most rewarding decision I could have possibly made. I was able to go out into the field and experiment through teaching different grades, and teaching different subjects. When I knew that I could not see myself teaching anything else besides music I set up my practicum with my mentor and high school chorus director, Rusty Keesler. He opened his class of all freshman guys to my observation and experimentation. (And yes Dr. Vaneman, they did love me.) I was allowed teach the class about IPA and to conduct on the Christmas concert and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I realized at this moment there was nothing else I could do to make myself happier without performing. So, for my project I chose to reflect this in a foldable that I learned to create during this class. One of the many projects we had to do was to turn the state standards of our chosen subject into “Foldables” as a way of relaying the information. I had to make foldables on sight singing and solfege. Fun, huh? SO for this project I decided to “teach the class” about the progression of my life thus far using a technique I know I will use in the future.
     In my past I was not eager to take risks or chances in any aspect of life. I didn’t try to make friends of music of my own. I did not try out for a solo or a part unless I knew I had it in the bag because I was afraid of failure. While I got my mom’s taste in music, I inherited my dad’s cynical mindset. I lived in the theory of “what’s the point of making friends or looking forward to things: I will only be disappointed or hurt in the end.” Quickly, I figured out that college would be the worst experience of my life if I continued to live this way. So just as quickly I tried to change and become more optimistic. And while my defining sarcasm still remains, I have found myself secretly meaning the things I say less and less.
     This semester has certainly been one of the wildest rides of my life. In one short semester I have already seen more changes in myself than I can count. I am more sociable, more willing to forgive others, more open to criticism and advice, and more willing to just complete the project without stressing for an hour and half about whether or not its good enough. I am less likely to revert back to my hermit days of staying home and studying, and only truly caring about spending time with family and my very, very, very small group of friends. I made the choice when I came here to branch out and actually try and be that girl that fits in. I hope I have accomplished this goal.
       In my voice lessons I have been more open to criticism and more likely to just go practice it and take it as advice on building upon what I am already doing well rather than a slap in the face. Dr. MacPhail has become the most helpful person in making this transition from high school and the Lawson Academy less stressful. I have seen a huge improvement in the things I can do with my voice since I’ve been here. Already, I have learned so many essential skills in one semester. MacGamut is getting a little easier, piano is becoming fun, and music history is helping me find the words I could never think of before. While fright singing and fear training still scare the living daylights out of me, and theory still gives me a very distinct headache above my right eye, I can say its not as daunting as it once was. In addition, I know these things are imperative to making my dreams come true. Teaching a class that involves sight singing and key signatures and pianos would be extremely difficult if I had no idea how to do any of that. I have to go through this torture to get to the end, and as Megan tells me all the time, “if it were easy everyone could do it.” I am looking forward to the rest of this roller coaster and finding where it takes me.